Latinx families & cultural refuge
Over and over again, from the start of a young age, you hear how family comes first and how unity is everything within the family. Tios, tias, abuelos, and your parents preach how to look out for and support one another. Elders of the family pass down the engrained message that your duty is to your family, no matter what. Collectivism is a cultural value that emphasizes the importance of group harmony and interdependence. In the Latinx community, collectivism plays a significant role in shaping family dynamics and relationships. Loyalty, devotion, and sacrifice are all expected to uphold the standards of the family.
Some of our families may have immigrated to the United States and some may have lived here for as long as they can remember. For our families and ancestors, working to survive to achieve financial security mixed with the struggles of acculturation places high stress upon the family and oftentimes may be traumatic learning how to live and exist in a new place. It is here where familismo thrives and continues to endure. The only constant in a changing world is the family we have beside us. Familismo and collectivism are intertwined together and speak the same language of survival. For some people, our Latinx culture provides security, support, and community and for others who want to explore and tend to their individualist needs and values, it can present some challenges that impact your mental health.
In Latinx families and collectivist cultures, there are unspoken rules and consequences when someone doesn’t conform to the group's expectations. It can be very difficult for someone to express their own opinions and this leads to feelings of frustration, guilt, resentment, and even depression because individuals may feel that their own desires are not being heard or valued. Collectivism can create conflict amongst family members when individuals seek to establish their own sense of identity outside of the family unit. In collectivist cultures, the group is often seen as more important than the individual, which can make it difficult for individuals to break away and establish their own identity, pursue their own goals and dreams, or make decisions that are not aligned with the needs of the group.
If there’s one thing, I want you to take away from this blog, it’s that a part of you may always want family approval and that’s okay. Be honest about what you want and who you are with your family. The fear of backlash, rejection, and conflict is difficult. Remember it is not you who they are mad at, it is the fact that someone is challenging their sense of safety, security, and unity of the family.
As someone who has always felt different because I didn’t believe in the same values as my family, it can be very isolating and exhausting having to mask your true self while tending to both family and personal desires. I created Cultural Refuge Counseling for those seeking escape from the expectations of their family and culture.
Adrianna Rodriguez
Owner of Cultural Refuge Counseling
